myblogtaketwo:

voldesnorts:

im-in-wonderland:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat

SERIOUSLY THIS SHIT IS AMAZING AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE CANOLA YOU CAN USE OLIVE FUCKING BELIEVE ME AND MY FINE ASS LEGS

" your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic" I AM LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD

I did this before and my legs felt soooooo soft! I was walking around all night demanding that my mum felt how smooth and good they felt :)

cassywinchestertheangel:

loveandfascination:

Please reblog. This is serious. 
Especially if you live in Manhattan, New York. Please keep a look out! 
STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND REBLOG, that’s all I ask. Just reblog.

I live in queens so I’m pretty close if I see anything I will try to help out

captoring:

captoring:

captoring:

captoring:

aka the I’M NOT OKAY GIVEAWAY in which one of you lucky bastards is gonna get a survival pack for when the end comes

what you get:

(2) homestuck t-shirts, from whatpumpkin or topatco

(1) homestuck hoodie from whatpumpkin

(1) drawing of your homestuck OTP by indigonite

(3) albums from the homestuck bandcamp

(1) sbahj magnet pack OR a captchalogue board

assorted brazilian candy

(1) vial of my homestuck-loving tears

if you are following me you also get:

(1) large pizza. i will order you a pizza. 

(1) homestuck official poster

50 dollars worth of merchandise from ANOTHER FANDOM (cause we’ve gotta move on, kids)

rules motherfricker:

it ends when homestuck ends. the last upd8. the final animation.

likes count, reblog as much as you want, i don’t care

giveaway blogs count too i don’t care

i will ship anywhere in the world i don’t care

you have to have your ask box open so i can get your shipping info. if you don’t reply in three days i will pick someone else. sorry!

you can choose the t-shirt prints, pizza flavor, etc

also, hussie said new homestuck stuff is going to be added soon, so i might throw in a few more items later. don’t worry, you will get the updated bonanza bundle no matter which version you reblogged

good luck yall

whatpumpkin updated! new tees, hoodies and prints to choose from and i’m also throwing in a set of 4 god tier pins OR charms for my followers

and again, good luck!

i realize in full i might be going a bit crazy here but i’m so EXCITED

so everyone also gets a homestuck tarot deck and followers get any one plush doll from whatpumpking. that includes any of the four consorts and two scalemates! be sure to check out the new hoodies, tees and prints!

THIS NOW ENDS JUNE 25TH. gigapause was taking too long to end! 

hey-giffy:

taco-marco:

a-storm-for-every-spring:

a-storm-for-every-spring:

a-storm-for-every-spring:

In honor of hitting 69 followers I will be giving away this small shopping cart I found in the trash at work (I’m a janitor so this isn’t as strange as it sounds, I find all sorts of crap). You do not have to be following me, and I will ship anywhere in the world on my own money. If you would like to win said small shopping cart reblog this post by June 30th! Winner will be chosen at random.

This has eleven thousand notes in under twelve hours.  My followers have multiplied twentyfold.  A fic has been written about me and my goddamn shopping cart.  Why.  Why does a tiny shopping cart instill such passion in the hearts of bloggers

fifteen days left!  Reblog to improve your chances of winning this eight dollar hunk of metal by one hundredth of a percent!  You know you want it.

i’m not even reblogging this because i want to win. i’m reblogging this because it feels like taking a part in history

Fuck that I want a tiny shopping cart.

finnthepotato:

aspidelaps:

flygex-eatin-on-softies:

I put this napkin on Bean as a joke but he hasn’t moved out from under it and it’s been about 20 minutes, so….

mother has given me a blanket it is a most joyous day

image

pantheraj:

"HELLO INFANT I AM BELUGA WHALE"

"YOU ALSO ARE BALD AND HAVE A BULBOUS FOREHEAD. LET US BE FRIENDS FORTHWITH."

madeleineishere:

Here is a short comic!

owldude:

got you a bouquet

amazing-kuma-blade:

shydavestrideer:

ohanameansfandom:

gilotyna815:

I am so ashamed for laughing.

I’m not.

i’m dying

I didn’t get it at first, but I kept staring at it and the symbol under it, and it hit me, and I feel so freaken dumb for not getting it.